Imagine a woman sitting on a couch and a man opening the door, with those heavy footsteps, he enters the room, towards the 5 1/2 people in the room.
All the time, she was looking at him, these are her thoughts:
There he walked into the room
Every step he took
Seemed like heavy years
In my heart being taken out
There he sat,
In front of me
I looked at his face
Memorizing every detail
Then I looked at his eyes
And I recognized
It was my true love
The one that had never come
Until that day…
The feeling was unexplainably beautiful
Just like his sad eyes
One day, I walked past a road
Then get stuck in a tunnel of black
Real black darkness,
And on the mid-road of the tunnel
I saw those eyes speaking red
Glaring fumes of sadness in bed
I saw his empty chest; his heart being taken out
By a monster that had disappeared way past;
A memory which haunted his dearest heart
I reached for my heart; though still bleeding
And touched his face as I gave him my heart
With glimmering bliss;
And on that tunnel we walked out both
We felt the light beaming in our faces
Suddenly our breathe were warm
We felt life again.
Love was there again.
Love has always been there.
I looked at my chest, it was empty.
I had no heart. It was already his.
It was his, in the first place.
Take me back to the time
When we would smile
And my mom would shoot you
And I would block the bullet
And I would hug your silhouette
And we would meet at the street
And you would say that I can pass by
And we would meet like we’ve never been hurt
Like we’ve never cried
Like we’ve never been wrecked
Take me back to the time
When the streets call my name
And you would drive at 2 AM
And there would be just the same
There will only be your name
And we would love like there has never been pain
Like we weren’t been two broken pieces
Trying to heal each other for so long
But afraid to go after our home
So I look out and see you walking pass by me
It’s been a while since I last posted a poem here in WP. I missed my friends in WP. I missed my former routine – reading poems every morning and checking artworks from different artists and appreciating them..
I also miss having luxury of time drinking coffee in McDonalds each morning, with my headphones in while I write. Though times had been tough for the past months and I miss being able to lax in the morning, before I start a battlefield-like feeling at work, I’d say I don’t regret any single choice I made.
Though time and comfort is not there (I’m talking about the usual time & comfort
I used to have), progress and being able to learn without losing yourself is more important. Outside your comfort zone, there’s danger, pain and the things you fear – but there is also growth, learning and progress – just don’t forget who you are.
I wouldn’t elaborate on the things that transpired and I know it’s still early to say that 2016 has been a year of change for me, but it is really.
So, what am I up to, at the moment?
Right now, I’m waiting for a print out of my poetry collection draft.I will be collaborating with 10 artists and hopefully, by next year, Godwilling, I’ll have it officially published (This has been my long time dream).
“Then I realized, We were almost just the same – fighting the same demon, living in the same hell, dealing with the same enemy – the fear of being left alone, my dear. The desolation that comes after leaving. We were afraid of the same lonely nights. The terror of living in the shadows. We fear and fight both – with smiling faces and giggling laughter”.
Maybe love is when you spend dinner with someone you love or maybe love is when you eat a hot soup in a cold weather with him by your side.
Maybe love is when you share an earpiece with him to watch your favorite movie or maybe love is when you hid your umbrella just to be under his’.
Maybe love is when you pretend to sleep at the bus, on the plane or jeepney just to get close to him or maybe love is when you struggle to stay awake but you fall asleep a minute after he said “it’s okay if you want to sleep”.
Maybe love is when you savor the moment you had that Saturday night – that chitchat you had with him while he’s playing songs on his phone or maybe love is when you want to tell him every inch of feeling you have for him but you were so awkwardly muted.
Maybe love is when you want to take care of him badly or maybe love is when you want to hold his hand and say “just hold on. Everything will be alright”.
Maybe love is when you lose yourself in .5 seconds at the smell of his perfume – even when he’s not around or maybe love is what makes your hands sway as parallel as his.
Maybe love is when you miss him so you count the days until you’ll see him again or maybe love is when you badly want to hug him every time you part ways.
Maybe love is what your heart longs for and what your soul craves, for too long now or maybe love is just around the corner waiting to be found.
So look closely. Don’t let love pass by. Hold her tight before she leaves, before she slips away. Tell him how you feel so he will not wonder –
Why your brain isn’t working properly lately; why you were smiling like an idiot at the thought of him; why you were always checking on him – to the point that he gets irritated on you; why you had those sudden ups and downs.
Maybe love can sometimes hurt but maybe love is worth the pain because you’ll never know when it comes, when it leaves; you’ll never know if it will come again; or maybe love is just as wonderful as he is.