Love

Love doesn’t ask much;
She knew she doesn’t have to.

Love knew that though he was breaking her heart,
He was protecting her in the meanest and kindest way possible.

Love knew that a hard labor can only buy her a pair of hairclip;
So she let her hair down instead.

Love knew pain like her best friend;
yet, love also knows forgiveness.

Love knew life was hard already
So she held his hand and never let him go.

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Love

Clean

I thought I prefer to see his face
With no beard nor mustache;

But when I saw him,
I knew I was wrong;

And all the ideas of him
Was gone from my head
I knew I was seeing the man that he is;
The raw, the 2 AM version of him
Is standing right in front of my very eyes

But I still got razor in my hand
And a cream;
I was waiting for my turn,
But when he came to me,

I just stared at him like an idiot,
Smiling,
Throwing a glance on his pretty damn eyes
Admiring the mess in his baffling face.

Clean

Him

Imagine a woman sitting on a couch and a man opening the door, with those heavy footsteps, he enters the room, towards the 5 1/2 people in the room.
All the time, she was looking at him, these are her thoughts:

There he walked into the room
Every step he took
Seemed like heavy years
In my heart being taken out

There he sat,
In front of me
I looked at his face
Memorizing every detail

Then I looked at his eyes
And I recognized
It was my true love

The one that had never come
Until that day…
The feeling was unexplainably beautiful
Just like his sad eyes

 

Him

On our way out

One day, I walked past a road
Then get stuck in a tunnel of black
Real black darkness,
Sadness, therein.
And on the mid-road of the tunnel
I saw those eyes speaking red
Glaring fumes of sadness in bed
I saw his empty chest; his heart being taken out
By a monster that had disappeared way past;
A memory which haunted his dearest heart
I reached for my heart; though still bleeding
And touched his face as I gave him my heart
With glimmering bliss;
And on that tunnel we walked out both
We felt the light beaming in our faces
Suddenly our breathe were warm
We felt life again.
Love was there again.
Love has always been there.
I looked at my chest, it was empty.
I had no heart. It was already his.
It was his, in the first place.

On our way out

Heal

Take me back to the time
When we would smile
And my mom would shoot you
And I would block the bullet
And I would hug your silhouette

And we would meet at the street
And you would say that I can pass by
And we would meet like we’ve never been hurt
Like we’ve never cried
Like we’ve never been wrecked

Take me back to the time
When the streets call my name
And you would drive at 2 AM
And there would be just the same
There will only be your name

And we would love like there has never been pain
Like we weren’t been two broken pieces
Trying to heal each other for so long
But afraid to go after our home
So I look out and see you walking pass by me

Heal

No Goodbyes

In another time
In another place
Maybe in another space
You will look into my eyes
I will see your face
And we will fall in love again

You will come and find me

I will look and see you
Our hearts will beat faster
This bond will be so much stronger
There will be no goodbyes
Just our hello and our smiles

In another time and place
We will meet and we will love again

No Goodbyes

Maybe love

Maybe love…

Maybe love is when you spend dinner with someone you love or maybe love is when you eat a hot soup in a cold weather with him by your side.

Maybe love is when you share an earpiece with him to watch your favorite movie or maybe love is when you hid your umbrella just to be under his’.

Maybe love is when you pretend to sleep at the bus, on the plane or jeepney just to get close to him or maybe love is when you struggle to stay awake but you fall asleep a minute after he said “it’s okay if you want to sleep”.

Maybe love is when you savor the moment you had that Saturday night – that chitchat you had with him while he’s playing songs on his phone or maybe love is when you want to tell him every inch of feeling you have for him but you were so awkwardly muted.

Maybe love is when you want to take care of him badly or maybe love is when you want to hold his hand and say “just hold on. Everything will be alright”.

Maybe love is when you lose yourself in .5 seconds at the smell of his perfume – even when he’s not around or maybe love is what makes your hands sway as parallel as his.

Maybe love is when you miss him so you count the days until you’ll see him again or maybe love is when you badly want to hug him every time you part ways.

Maybe love is what your heart longs for and what your soul craves, for too long now or maybe love is just around the corner waiting to be found.

So look closely. Don’t let love pass by. Hold her tight before she leaves, before she slips away. Tell him how you feel so he will not wonder –

Why your brain isn’t working properly lately; why you were smiling like an idiot at the thought of him; why you were always checking on him – to the point that he gets irritated on you; why you had those sudden ups and downs.

Maybe love can sometimes hurt but maybe love is worth the pain because you’ll never know when it comes, when it leaves; you’ll never know if it will come again; or maybe love is just as wonderful as he is.

Maybe love

The Feels

Dreams fall in your heart
Like mist roaming at night
Leaves fall like those tears
Some days, you will have to fear

But I won’t let them get to you
It’s like I can do so few
Dark days may be ahead
But the flame of my love will mend

Clearing the sky for you
So you can see through
You’re a unique soft soul
Wrapped in a stone

A fist so hard to resist
But can’t see its worth
You’re a gem so rare
That I so love to stare at.

 

The Feels

Good Song Spotted: Stuck by Darren Espanto

When I first heard this song, the lyrics and melody captured me right away.

While listening to it, I thought that the one who wrote it is a brave one. To tell and to confess those things speaks so much bravery. There could be a point when one was a fool, but accepting it is something.

The writer of this song must be really talented being able to put such emotions to words.

I thought it was sung by a woman. So I searched for it and came to find out that it was Darren Espanto who sang it.

Here’s the lyrics:

I was too dumb to notice
That there’s something about you
What am I supposed to do
I sure wish I knew

All the butterflies I felt inside
Never really mattered
Wishful thoughts and sudden smiles
End up being shattered

What are we supposed to be
I’m hopelessly addicted to you
But you never felt the same

Time may pass us by
But you’ll stay stuck on my mind
And that moment we stared that night
I thought it was right
But maybe I was wrong all along

I held onto something that never really mattered
Stuck on that starting line
I’m still silently, quietly hoping you’ll end up with me

I was too dumb to notice
There was something about you
How are you supposed to see things
If only you knew

All the times we were together
I never really mattered
All you see is what you want
My heart is being shattered

What are we supposed to be
I’m helplessly addicted to you
But you never felt the same

Time may pass us by
But you’ll stay stuck on my mind

And that moment we stared that night
I thought it was right
But maybe I was wrong all along

I held onto something that never really mattered
Stuck on that starting line
I’m still silently, quietly, hoping you’ll end up with me

Time may pass us by
But you’ll stay stuck on my mind
And that moment we stared that night
I thought it was right

Time may pass us by
But you’ll stay stuck on my mind
And that moment we stared that night
I thought it was right
But maybe I was wrong all along

I held onto something that never really mattered
Stuck on that starting line
I’m still silently, quietly hoping you’ll end up with me

I was too dumb to notice
That there’s something about you
What am I supposed to do if
I’m still stuck on you

And the video:

Good Song Spotted: Stuck by Darren Espanto

I dreamt of my late mom

Last Tuesday, while I was at work, I took 1 hour lunch to sleep.

Around 4am, I went to the sleeping quarter. I dreamt of my mother.

In my dream, we were at home, she was wearing her usual house dress. It was daytime in my dream. There was a guy who knocks. He knocks and call outs to buy ice. As I was having trust issues, I asked her if I would open the door. She looked outside, seems analyzing the guy. She told me to open the door.

I didn’t know I was dreaming. My brother suddenly appeared in my dream. When I saw him, it’s like he reminded me that our mom is already gone. I was awaken by that thought. My head hurts when I woke up. I overslept by 18 minutes. It was still dark when I woke up.

I miss her a lot.

Continue reading “I dreamt of my late mom”

I dreamt of my late mom

I’m not in love

No, don’t look into my eyes
You might see the glitters
No, don’t look when I smile
You might see me lose my mind

No, don’t feel my heart
It’s a fear I hardly hide
No, don’t look at me
You might feel my heart beating fast

No, don’t be sweet, telling me take care
You know how you can take me to heights
No, don’t make me feel you miss me too
You know I’ve been dying to see you

No, don’t ever think I’m in love with you
Cause you know I’ll shut off as soon as you knew
No, don’t tell me you’re leaving anyway
You know how and why I’ll bleed everyday

(c) Lenanoid

I’m not in love

Poisonous

The music of your heart beating
Seems to fit in everything
My thoughts were occupied by you
You act like you never knew

You logged your existence
And you seem to not pay at all
This can’t be good, this is not fair
Because I need to see you stare

You’re a poison in my head
You seem to linger longer
You’re closer than ever
You give my heart a fever

Poisonous